On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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