Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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