if i can run in heels then i can drive
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
3pm strippers are depressing
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
