I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
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I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
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We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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