I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
