I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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