i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
