You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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