just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
