the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Your cock deserves a montage
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
