Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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