You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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