peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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