i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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