I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
