You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
