The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
