wrigley field is MILF paradise
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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