i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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