I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
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I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
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