the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
