I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
