Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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