he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize