Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
