So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
