Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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