I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
