If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's official drugs can't kill me
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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