I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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