i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We are all done wearing pants today
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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