Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
