You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
