I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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