Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
