So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
