gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
