I bet he comes in French.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just found a bag of teeth...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize