these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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