My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
