So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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