I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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