The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
