Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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