You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
