he told me I talked like a deaf person
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
