Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Couch. On fire.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
