I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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