do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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