She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
