What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
