her facebook's as public as her vagina
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
