How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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