Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
