question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
