I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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