weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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