if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
